tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84355930747569766222024-03-13T14:05:20.969-04:00¿Qué Pasa, Miami?A local uncovers the Miami you don't see on TV.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-57505106760802135812012-03-11T22:27:00.000-04:002013-07-21T14:39:48.139-04:00Lincoln Road Photo Series - Week IIISouth Beach's Lincoln Road, with its many shops and restaurants and its pedestrian charm, is one of the best places to people watch in Miami. I don't make it to Miami Beach as often as I should, but recently I signed up for a weekly Portuguese class just off Lincoln Road. I've therefore decided to begin a 3-week photo series in which I'll post a new picture of Lincoln Road each weekend. Enjoy week 3.<br />
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"Family-friendly" isn't typically what comes to mind when people think of South Beach, but a stroll through Lincoln Road reveals that it's not all clubs and Spring Breakers. This grassy spot is a favorite for children, who play tag and prance around with their colorful balloons.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-87262992949770944382012-03-04T20:49:00.003-05:002013-07-21T14:38:03.794-04:00Lincoln Road Photo Series - Week IISouth Beach's Lincoln Road, with its many shops and restaurants and its pedestrian charm, is one of the best places to people watch in Miami. I don't make it to Miami Beach as often as I should, but recently I signed up for a weekly Portuguese class just off Lincoln Road. I've therefore decided to begin a 3-week photo series in which I'll post a new picture of Lincoln Road each weekend. Enjoy week 2.<br />
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When dining on Lincoln Road, most customers choose to sit outdoors and watch the world go by. When I say <i>the world</i>, I mean that literally. South Beach is home to many expats and is also highly popular with tourists. So, during your meal, try making out as many languages as you can.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-22616242830571799022012-02-25T15:14:00.005-05:002013-07-21T14:36:54.654-04:00Lincoln Road Photo Series - Week ISouth Beach's Lincoln Road, with its many shops and restaurants and its pedestrian charm, is one of the best places to people watch in Miami. I don't make it to Miami Beach as often as I should, but recently I signed up for a weekly Portuguese class just off Lincoln Road. I've therefore decided to begin a 3-week photo series in which I'll post a new picture of Lincoln Road each weekend. Enjoy week 1.<br />
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The intersection of Lincoln Road and Meridian is a restful hangout spot for this aviary pair. Are they people watching, too?</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-35010143234313017562012-02-18T09:10:00.002-05:002012-02-19T12:04:28.036-05:00Do You Believe in "Majic"?Dear <a href="http://www.wmxj.com/" target="_blank"><b>Majic 102.7</b></a>,<br />
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As my local oldies station, you played an important role in my early music education. You introduced me to Elvis and Aretha; when I became obsessed with The Beatles, I tuned in for Beatle Brunch every Sunday morning.<br />
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Fast forward to 2012. This morning on my way to work, I tuned in expecting to hear "Midnight Train to Georgia" or some such classic. What I heard instead was this announcement: "Majic 102.7, playing songs from the 60s, 70s, and 80s." <br />
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I won't break it to you gently, Majic, because it needs to be said. I forbid you from playing 80s music. I know it's harsh, but do try to understand. You are an oldies station, and songs from the 80s are not oldies. Why? Because I was alive in the 80s, that's why.<br />
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Did you even consider the psychological damage you might cause to thousands of almost-30s? Is that what you want? No, I won't let you do that to others. I won't let you do that to yourself. I forbid it. It's for your own good.<br />
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Alright. Glad we had this talk.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-55422631721358399192012-02-05T20:54:00.003-05:002013-06-05T16:23:58.122-04:00Miami Doesn't SuckA Forbes article by Kurt Badenhausen recently named Miami <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/kurtbadenhausen/2012/02/02/americas-most-miserable-cities/" target="_blank"><b>America's most miserable city</b></a>. In <a href="http://que-pasa-miami.blogspot.com/2010/03/testing.html" target="_blank"><b>my first post for this blog</b></a>, I pointed out that Miami is plagued by low income, high poverty rates, and political corruption. These systemic problems mirror the factors that Forbes considered when rating "misery" in American cities.<br />
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While I won't argue with statistics, I reject the idea that one can use them to measure misery. "The most famous way to gauge misery is the Misery Index developed by economist Arthur Okun in the 1960s, which combines unemployment and inflation," says Badenhausen. The Misery Index? As I see it, something as amorphous as city-wide misery can't be accurately measured.<br />
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The Forbes article goes on to list the "less weighty" factors in the study: "commute times, weather, and how the area's pro sports teams did." First things first. I consider weather a primary, not a secondary factor. People -- be they successful or unemployed -- experience weather every day. While corrupt politicians may tick me off, they don't affect my daily mood in the way that weather does. People can oust politicians, as Miamians did when they voted overwhelmingly to recall Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez, but they can't oust Mother Nature. There's a reason people continue moving down here despite the lower wages. Just saying.<br />
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On to sports teams. Badenhausen concedes that the Miami Heat has "brought Florida sports fans much joy" but adds that "the rest of the Miami pro sports scene is pure misery, with the Miami Dolphins, Miami Marlins, and Florida Panthers all among the worst teams in their respective sports last year." One year of failed sports teams equals misery? Granted, the Miami Dolphins have sucked for a long time, but the Miami Marlins (formerly the Florida Marlins) have only been around since 1993 and have won two World Series championships so far. I wouldn't call that miserable. As for the Florida Panthers, this is the tropics; many of us forget we even have a hockey team. I don't mean this as a slight on the sport or its fans, but having a crappy hockey team isn't forcing many Miamians into therapy. Why is success of sports teams one of the ten factors in the first place? Badenhausen, who covers business of sports for Forbes, has likely overemphasized athletics in his study.<br />
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While certain factors are overemphasized, others are sidestepped altogether. In his statistical findings, Badenhausen makes no mention of entertainment, or cultural events, or cuisine. I take free yoga lessons three times a week in a beautiful outdoor setting next to Biscayne Bay. In the last two weeks alone, I attended a production of <i>A Midsummer Night's Dream </i>in Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden, enjoyed an amazing flamenco show with free wine and tapas at a new Spanish restaurant, and jammed to local band Suenalo at Coral Gables' monthly Art in the Park event. Altogether, I spent less than $10.<br />
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The Forbes article makes it sound like only sports stars and celebrities can live it up in Miami, while the rest of us are left to lament our miserable lives: "If you're among the 75% of households with an annual income under $75,000, [Miami] can be a hard place." I make a whole lot less than $75,000 and commute 45 minutes to work every day, but I'm not miserable. Most of my friends are educators who aren't raking in the dough, but they're not miserable either.<br />
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I don't deny that Miami has its problems, nor do I presume that my experience of Miami is representative of the overall population, yet I'm positive that Forbes' assessment of the city's "misery" level is skewed at best. I suspect that the same is true of other cities on the list. For all its foibles, Miami is a dynamic place to live. At the very least, it certainly doesn't suck.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-61502363557378824432011-09-10T16:04:00.002-04:002013-07-21T14:35:23.358-04:00MiamsterdamDid you know that the Dutch are major bicycle enthusiasts? Of course you did. But did you know that there are more bikes than people in Holland? No, seriously, there are! That's because most people own AT LEAST one. I can see the MTV Cribs episode now, Dutch edition:<br />
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<i>Yo, yo, what up? Welcome to my bachelor pad. I don't cook in this kitchen, but it's always stocked with gouda.... This is where the magic happens.... And these are, like, my most prized possessions. Check out my collection of rides! This one here's for cycling to the studio, this one's for impressing the ladies at the red light district, and this is my most pimped out one for red carpet events. Check out the rims on that baby!</i><br />
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MTV, you really should consider filming Cribs International. Also, you should play music again.<br />
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But back to the point: the Dutch live in a trafficless, clean air, bike-friendly utopia. Shockingly, their bike experts -- they have bike experts! how cute -- think they can do the same for Miami.<br />
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<b><a href="http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2011/05/02/v-print/113485/dutch-bicycle-experts-push-peddle.html" target="_blank">The Miami Herald</a></b> reports that the Royal Netherlands embassy in D.C. sent us three "cycling as transportation" experts. They were charged with figuring out how to get more Miamians out of their cars and onto their bikes. Are they trying to tell us we need to work out more?<br />
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While this may seem a Herculean task for a city with such a rigid car culture, plans are already underway for several bike paths in key areas. If enough people show interest, who knows? This bike thing might just begin to take off. Can Miami be progressive on this issue? I hope so because, let's face it, we probably do need to work out more.<br />
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So welcome, Dutch bike experts! Try not to get run-over. That would make us look pretty bad.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-4189036435730047512011-07-17T14:34:00.012-04:002013-07-21T14:33:15.621-04:00I Hate Heart South Beach<div>
I've been driving in circles for 20 minutes. So far, I've cursed aloud to myself in the car five times for very legitimate reasons:</div>
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1) The cheap garage is full. #@!%</div>
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2) The other garage is $15 flat rate. #@!% that!</div>
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3) Ah, there's a spot down the street! Loading zone? #@!%</div>
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4) Does my car fit in this space? I'm a parallel parking goddess; I can make it work.... I can't make it work. #@!%</div>
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5) Guess I'll have to park in that overpriced garage after all. It's now $20? #@!% </div>
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By the time I finally find a parking spot, I'm almost out of gas, grumpy, and hating South Beach. I walk past Collins Avenue to Ocean Drive, drenched in sweat, and wonder, "why do I even bother coming out here?" Then I hit the water and wonder, "why don't I come here more often?"</div>
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The truth is, most Miamians take the beach for granted. It's not going anywhere, right? But each time I do go, I can't believe I've been kept away so long. When I travel, I'm more interested in exploring what Miami doesn't offer <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">--</span> centuries-old architecture, historic bars, mystery. Who needs the Mediterranean Sea when you live in Miami? Yet I rarely take advantage of our celebrated beaches. Shame on me.</div>
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I hereby resolve to visit Miami Beach as often as possible even if trying to park makes me want to shoot something.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-62653074247833096272011-06-12T12:27:00.001-04:002013-07-21T14:29:28.064-04:00Beautiful BugsI've made it a point on this blog to <a href="http://que-pasa-miami.blogspot.com/2010/05/pox-on-palmetto-bugs.html" target="_blank"><b>rail against my sworn enemy</b></a> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">--</span></span> the Miami cockroach, known down here as the Palmetto bug. Luckily, the tropics also harbor some strikingly bright and colorful insects that don't make my stomach churn in disgust.<br />
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Behold the iridescent, spotted evolutionary marvel that I recently caught sight of on my mailbox.<br />
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The palm tree in my front yard has lately been home to a bright green lizard that resembles the Geico gecko.</div>
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A few weeks ago, while walking <a href="http://que-pasa-miami.blogspot.com/2010/08/my-dog-roach-killer-kind-of.html" target="_blank"><b>my roach killing dog</b></a>, I spotted a butterfly just emerged from its cocoon.</div>
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Miami is also home to a particular <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz2FBCj_lig&feature=related" target="_blank"><b>click beetle with glowing green eyes</b></a>. Yes, it's slightly roach-like, but it's eyes light up brighter than the little green lights on my modem. It's a sci-fi alien bug.</div>
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For as long as roaches have been trolling this planet, you'd think they could've evolved some type of non-repulsive feature. Don't hold your breath, world; they're apparently set on offending humanity's collective sense of sight.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-27511810312415280122011-01-31T20:14:00.006-05:002013-06-05T16:04:53.283-04:00Miami ShoreRemember when Miami was the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miami_bass" target="_blank"><b>booty music</b></a> capital of the world? In the ninth grade, my fellow ballerinas and I would practice our <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJPVkgO8YIw" target="_blank"><b>fouetées</b></a> in the studio and our <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl-Dx1FCDeI&feature=related" target="_blank"><b>hydraulics</b></a> at Catholic school dances. Hey, both are good workouts. Not until college did I realize that the rest of the nation had no idea who <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV8f1DKBLKM" target="_blank"><b>Uncle Al</b></a><b> </b>was. Love it or hate it, this Miami bass music, as it was technically called, gave the city some distinctive flavor in the 90s.<br />
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Those days are long gone, and club culture now seems to be all about techno and trance. I'll bet those Jersey Shore kids felt right at home here. Maybe it's just me, but I prefer my dance music to be something I can ...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px;"> </span>well<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px;"> ...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px;"> </span><i>dance</i> to. Yes, there's a lot of<b> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q9bbzol3jo" target="_blank">hopping about and fist pumping</a> </b>in techno, but I'm not inspired to actually move my hips.<br />
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I spent plenty of time on YouTube today trying to familiarize myself a bit with electronic music for this post. When I found a 10-minute video entitled Best Melodic Trance Songs, I thought, "let me give this a chance"; five minutes of the way through I wondered why Cheney never used melodic trance in place of waterboarding. Am I missing something?<br />
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I'd be interested to hear from an avid fan of electronic music on the subject. What about it is so appealing to so many people? I'm not trying to be facetious here. I'd really like to know. <br />
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In the meantime, I'll be here, getting down to the 1996 Miami classic, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaTJMxbdj7w" target="_blank"><b>Morena</b></a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-40589471112142069892010-12-14T18:36:00.004-05:002012-10-21T14:11:21.243-04:00Welcome to Miami ... Green Acres?It's 6:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning. All the free champagne I ingested for happy hour the night before is making me feel a little less chirpy than the rooster next door, who is cocka-doodle-dooing to his heart's content. The neighbors are up early collecting eggs from the five or so hens running around, the dog has fun herding them, and the pig sits around hoping he's not <em>Nochebuena</em> (Christmas Eve) dinner.<br />
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I live smack in the middle of Miami, somewhere between Little Havana and Coral Gables, yet my neighbors are raising livestock.<br />
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Although I'm not certain what part of Cuba they're from, I'm willing to bet they lived in <em>el campo</em> (the countryside). A lot of Cuban <em>campesinos</em> feel it's completely normal to run a mini farm from their small single-family homes behind Calle Ocho. I'm okay with this; saying hello to a brood of hens just before plunging into big-city traffic is mildly LOL-inducing.<br />
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The comical contrast is lost on my dog, though. He is confused by these new weird animals.<br />
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Blade's early morning thoughts are as follows:<br />
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<em>I'm ... awake? I'm awake. Must ... go ... OUTSIDE!</em><br />
*cry cry cry (at inhumanly high decibel)*<br />
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<em>Yay! Morning walk! Yay!</em><br />
*trot trot trot ... freeze*<br />
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<em>What are those? </em><br />
*tilts head*<br />
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<em>Are they large pigeons?</em><br />
*wags tail (hunting is fun!)*<br />
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<em>Way too big to be pigeons. Are they ... cats?</em><br />
*wags tail (cats are my friends!)* <br />
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<em>Wait, those cats are too close to my territory!</em><br />
*assumes defensive stance*<br />
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<em>But cats have tails.</em><br />
*sniffs air*<br />
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<em>What ARE those?</em><br />
*tilts head*<br />
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Blade has now taken to ignoring the alien creatures. For my part, I'm just hoping not to find any of them <a href="http://que-pasa-miami.blogspot.com/2010/09/miamis-best-and-worst.html" target="_blank"><strong>decapitated in the front lawn</strong></a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-9508573172081206802010-10-23T11:28:00.006-04:002013-07-21T14:26:49.177-04:00On the Mover<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
One of my biggest gripes with Miami is its lack of public transportation. Let's face it <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">--</span></span> we Miamians need to exercise our limbs and tone down our road rage, but this city is not providing any adequate means of getting around. </div>
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If I didn't need a car, I wouldn't own one. Between the gas, the insurance, and the upkeep, cars are a huge expense. They're also dangerous (particularly when navigating in a sea of Miami drivers). They create stress and pollute our fresh air. Being car-less in Miami, though, is unfortunately too big a handicap. </div>
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Our one Metrorail line runs from downtown Miami (where nobody lives) south to Kendall. It barely gets used. Metro envy has made me slightly obsessed with metro systems everywhere. I love the maps with all the multi-colored lines intercepting one another; I observe how the doors open (automatically or manually? if manually, button or handle?); I take note of the seating; I critique the color choices; I try to identify what books people are reading; I feel mobile, energized. Why can't we transport people around effectively like nearly every other developed city in the world? </div>
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If you live somewhere in the small circumference between Brickell and Omni, though, you can hop on the FREE Metromover! I wish we had a system like this throughout the most frequented parts of the city. I wouldn't expect to ride for free, or course, but I think it would catch on. Can you picture it? Miami, a city of pedestrians? One can dream.</div>
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<i>Since I work in Brickell and recently attended a conference at a hotel right by Metromover's Omni station, I for once had the option of taking public transport. Any kind of metro system in Miami must be above ground since we are practically at sea level, which means riding around is a great way to see the city. Enjoy the tour.</i></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-5833439336252781452010-09-13T21:11:00.021-04:002012-10-21T14:14:58.948-04:00Miami: Best & Worst & SanteríaMy lit geek friends and I seem incapable of throwing a party without a costume theme; it's Halloween about once a month for us. The latest theme, this time for a birthday fiesta, was "Best and Worst of Miami," and the English crew did not disappoint. A few of the highlights below:<br />
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- Miami tourists, complete with Hawaiian shirts and fanny packs<br />
- The couple from the show <a href="http://www.seat42f.com/images/stories/tvshows/Dexter/dexter-season-two-promo-picture.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dexter</span></a>, which is set in Miami<br />
- The requisite Miami Vice guy<br />
- A ditzy, scantily clad UM student armed with inflatable breasts from Party City<br />
- A scantily clad Hialeah girl (The scantily clad motif was especially popular.)<br />
- A mojito (She was green and looked delicious. Well, you know what I mean.)<br />
- <a href="http://www.fairchildgarden.org/" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden</span></a> (Best dress idea ever.)<br />
<br />
I went as a <span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqiBbQ8J7h0zqQ9RSax1sq9FNjfiyDWyCuVRZVGaRgrhZM_HKn9V7avgn_L3ompIXv-VCG9u0zD_MQvtq2Nl5ohONyfCeLF16_ZT_JDuyuI51hyphenhyphenGzmhmSikQ0taZj1om60TGmtehyphenhyphenleYA/s400/1santera.jpg" target="_blank">santera</a><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span> (a woman who practices <span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santer%C3%ADa" target="_blank">Santería</a></span>).<br />
<br />
If your background is Cuban, chances are that someone in your family practices the religion (no matter how "strictly Catholic" the family may be), and most who have grown up in Miami are at least aware of it. Perhaps they've wondered at the <a href="http://www.havanatimes.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Roberto-in-the-Botanica.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: bold;">botanicas</span></a> (Santería shops) around town, or perhaps they've spotted one too many headless chickens in their day. My Catholic high school, situated next to the Cuban, Catholic church of <span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://cache.virtualtourist.com/4/168472-La_Ermita_de_La_Caridad_del_Miami_Beach.jpg" target="_blank">La Ermita de la Caridad</a></span>, was no stranger to dead chickens. We scored a day off school once because of dead chickens. Thank you, dead chickens!<br />
<br />
Most people at the party, though, had not grown up in Miami and did not know what to make of my ensemble. Was I a gypsy? a tropical ghost? a ... umm ... lady who likes to wear white? Two Cubans and one Spaniard got it, though. Big up! <br />
<br />
So, was I representing the best or the worst of Miami? I suppose that depends on whether you view Santería with a sense of wonder or a sense of fear. <br />
<br />
Because music plays an integral role in Santería ritual, I leave you with a song about Santería by local Cuban artist Willy Chirino aptly titled <span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHXMnRXVxYI" target="_blank">"Mister Don't Touch the Banana."</a></span><br />
<br />
* <em>For further personal anecdotes from a fellow Miami blogger on this topic and to understand why you shouldn't touch the banana, check out <a href="http://loquepicaelgallo.wordpress.com/2010/09/13/enciendale-una-velita/" target="_blank"><strong>this post</strong></a>.</em>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-12857570157633375402010-08-31T17:17:00.004-04:002012-10-21T14:18:56.583-04:00Miami AccentWikipedia and research are not compatible. Why? Because my dog can edit Wikipedia, and <a href="http://que-pasa-miami.blogspot.com/2010/08/my-dog-roach-killer-kind-of.html" target="_blank"><strong>my dog plays with dead roaches</strong></a>! Hell, I bet his dead roach can edit Wikipedia. I have therefore banned Wikipedia from my English classroom. That said, today my hypocrite self was browsing Wikipedia. In the Miami entry, I spotted a link for "Miami accent" and came upon this priceless nugget:<br />
<br />
<em>In Miami, a unique accent, commonly called the "Miami accent", is widely spoken. It developed mostly by second- or third-generation Hispanics whose first language was English. It is very similar to accents in the Northeast, but contains a rhythm and pronunciation heavily influenced by Spanish. However, a Miami accent is not Spanish-accented English, as many Miami residents who are not Hispanic, or do not speak Spanish, speak with the Miami accent as well. It is most common amongst those born and raised in Miami, and can commonly be heard spoken by Blacks and White non-Hispanics, as well as in Hispanics. However, not all Miamians have the accent. The accent is acquired in some areas, but not others.[citation needed]</em><br />
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First things first. My desire to edit the hell out of this convoluted paragraph replete with grammatical craziness was difficult to overcome. Apparently, Wikipedia doesn't know where to place commas or how to form the passive voice. Then there are the WTF sentences. Can someone please tell me what it means if an accent is not spoken <em>in</em> Hispanics or whether accents are even <em>spoken</em> in the first place?<br />
<br />
Moving on, what most struck me was the equivocal nature of the passage. The point? Miami has an accent. Only Miamians have it, but not all Miamians have it, and it's not really an accent, but it's an accent (kind of), which comes from Spanish, but not only Spanish speakers have it, and it exists in some areas but not others. Get it? Got it? Fail. <br />
<br />
Not that I'm sure how to define this "accent" either. My whole life, I've been able to identify "Americanos" in Miami by the way they speak. Having been born here, I am of course an "Americana," too, but I am first-generation "Americana," which is not the same thing. If your parents respected your teenage privacy by knocking on your bedroom door before barging in, chances are your family has been reproducing in the U.S. of A. for a while. <br />
<br />
The fact that these privacy-respecting Americans sound different to me means that those of Hispanic origin born in Miami must have a uniquely Miami accent. As the above passage states, this is not the same thing as a Spanish accent. My parents, who were raised in Cuba, have a Spanish accent. (They don't sound like Scarface, though. Nobody sounds like Scarface! It's an appalling caricature. Okay, maybe a few Miamians sound like Scarface, but that's probably because they think it's cool to sound like Scarface.)<br />
<br />
So if there indeed is a Miami accent, it's an American one, in the same way that the southern twang or the New York, Boston, Chicago, or Minnesota accents are American. Yet the distinctive intonation and pronunciation of the average Miamian isn't widely recognized as an American accent.<br />
<br />
This is all quite confusing, so I leave first-generation "Americanos" and privacy-respecting "Americanos" alike with the following questions:<br />
<br />
1) Does Miami have an accent?<br />
2) What does a Miami accent sound like, anyway?<br />
3) What will it take to get the Miami accent New York accent status?<br />
4) Does Sarah Palin stand as a one-woman accent category? Such a maverick! <br />
<br />
Please enlighten me with your insight before my mind explodes with the "accentiness" of it all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-2851182480251163402010-08-12T21:13:00.005-04:002013-07-21T13:54:21.163-04:00My Dog the Roach Killer?Monthly fumigation is no match for the heat, rain, and humidity of Miami summers, so my abhorred nemesis continues to rear its hideous antennae. If you read my <a href="http://que-pasa-miami.blogspot.com/2010/05/pox-on-palmetto-bugs.html" target="_blank"><strong>A Pox on Palmetto Bugs</strong></a> post, you know how I feel about cockroaches, the foul villains. I think they all deserve to die, die, die. So when I caught my miniature pincher murdering one of the vile invaders this morning with a few swift strikes of his paw, you'd think I'd have rooted for him: "Blade, Blade, he's the best! Smack that roach and kill that pest!" That's not how it went down, though. Here's why:<br />
<br />
- If Doggy touches roach and Miami Girl touches Doggy, Miami Girl touches roach. <br />
- If Miami girl inadvertently "touches" roach via Doggy, she will feel infected all day, no matter how much she scrubs and washes.<br />
- Doggy doesn't kill roach out of fear or hatred. Quite the contrary. Doggy considers this "fun."<br />
- Doggy considers dead roach so much fun that, upon seeing Miami Girl, Doggy sweeps dead roach under doggy bed.<br />
- In Doggy's crafty attempt to hide new "toy," Doggy lies on doggy bed (under which lies roach) and plays innocent.<br />
- Miami Girl screams, "Blade, it's not a bone! It's a freaking roach! What is wrong with you?!"<br />
<br />
Ugh, at least he doesn't eat them. Needless to say, Blade sleeps on a brand new doggy bed tonight and smells of lavender shampoo.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Blade working his "I didn't do nothing" look.</span></td></tr>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-5569951272013648672010-08-03T14:50:00.017-04:002013-06-05T11:46:10.376-04:00Growing Up Spanglish: Part DosIs it odd that my first language is Spanish, but my native language is English? Not in Miami.<br />
<br />
Being first-generation American in Miami is not alienating. I wasn't the only kid in my elementary school to carry a <strong><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/80/Materva.jpg" target="_blank">Materva</a></strong> in her lunch box, I wasn't the only middle schooler who had to teach my parents what a GPA was, and I wasn't the only high school girl to be professionally photographed in a <a href="http://www.ortegasartsandcraft.com/White%20Quince%20Anos.jpg" target="_blank"><strong>hideous poofy white dress</strong></a> for her <em>quinces</em> (fifteenth birthday). <br />
<br />
My life has always been compartmentalized into language zones: English for social life; Spanish for family life. It's not quite that simple, of course. Within families, it's strictly Spanish with the <em>abuelos</em> (grandparents). With the parents, it depends. Did they attend school in the U.S. or not? This will generally determine how much Spanish is spoken in the home. My parents were raised in Cuba, which means I speak to them primarily in Spanish. There are exceptions, though. For instance, if my father and I are discussing Obama's healthcare plan, we may instinctually switch to English because we unconsciously categorize certain topics as English-language ones. <br />
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Siblings and cousins tend to fall into the English zone, granted they're not <em>acabados de llegar</em> (just arrived from *insert name of Latin American country here*). My cousin moved to the States when she was eight years old. We speak a hybrid language that consists of the following ingredients:<br />
<br />
- 3 parts English<br />
- 1 part Spanish<br />
- 1 part Cuban (not to be confused with proper Spanish, which doesn't make use of colorful expressions as absurd as <a href="http://loquepicaelgallo.wordpress.com/2010/07/05/le-zumba-el-merequeten/" target="_blank"><strong>le zumba el merequeténgue</strong></a>)<br />
<br />
As someone with an MA in English, I am often conflicted about the extensive use of Spanglish in this town. Many people seem unable to speak either language correctly. At times, though, a Spanish word (or Cuban expression) has greater import than its English counterpart (if there is one). The reverse is also true. Navigating between two languages with fellow bilingual Miamians is therefore practical. It's also fun. Consider the common use of Yiddish terms in American English. Would you rather say, "that guy's got nerve and confidence," or "that guy's got chutzpah"? I rest my case. For better or worse, Spanglish is Miami's unofficial language. <br />
<br />
I leave you with another classic ¿Qué Pasa, U.S.A.? clip, in which the Spanish/English, grandparent/grandchild rift is taken to its comedic extreme.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-9840429929594760552010-07-15T15:30:00.003-04:002011-09-10T13:34:53.814-04:00Growing Up Spanglish: Part UnoI am perhaps four or five years old. My father and I are watching TV. "That woman is singing in French," he says. I pause, considering this. Finally, I ask the logical question: "French in Spanish or French in English?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-85657241754120629732010-05-20T18:09:00.001-04:002012-10-21T14:55:42.883-04:00A Pox on Palmetto BugsThey're back. Not that they ever really leave us in this tropical swampland we call South Florida, but during the humid, stormy, infernally hot Miami summers, they are bigger, bolder, and more beastly than ever ... and I loath them. How much do I loath them? I couldn't bring myself to google "palmetto bug" for this blog post out of fear that the horrid roach images would infect my computer with their unsightliness and severely affect my digestion.<br />
<br />
Believe it or not, I'm not one of those prissy screams-at-the-sight-of-bugs girls. My home, although clean and tidy, is not impenetrable. It is no stranger to creepy crawlers such as spiders, lizards, and a disturbingly large number of invertebrates I've never seen on the Discovery Channel. I don't mind them. If a spider is crawling nearby, I simply step on it, at which time it does that freaky thing where its newly severed legs refuse to stop quivering. This doesn't phase me. I promptly clean off the spider with some damp toilet paper and move on with my life.<br />
<br />
Lizards are free to just hang out. Well, minus those creepy transparent ones that display their little internal organs. Those are weird. I once spotted a little lizard (the normal green kind) in the shower with me, head tilted up towards the shower head. My spontaneous reaction was laughter, for I was involuntarily picturing the reptile in a pair of little lizard sunglasses; in my mind's eye, he was catching some rays. *Side note: The beach lizard story is meant to highlight my <strike>lunacy</strike> vivid imagination.<br />
<br />
So what do these fascinating anecdotes tell us? They tell us that my contempt for the cockroach has nothing to do with some sort of anti-crawly things agenda. Rather, my contempt for the cockroach is founded on one fact alone -- they are the evil spawn of Satan. There, I said it.<br />
<br />
This brings me to the traumatic event that took place last week, which I will relate in the present tense so as to heighten the suspense. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">It's 5:00 a.m., and I'm forcing myself out of bed. It's my first day of boot camp. As I squeeze into my leggings, it occurs to me that I should allow my dog out on the patio terrace briefly so as to prevent a doggy surprise upon my return. Once in the family room, I spot a large, dead roach in the kitchen. "Second one this week!" Thinking about having to throw it out is making me slightly nauseous. I decide to ignore it for the moment and proceed to open the sliding glass door for Doggy. Out trots Doggy, not a care in the world. I, on the other hand, am on edge. A sixth sense tells me something is looming. A slight tilt of my head to the left ... heart stops. There, on the edge of the sliding door I've just opened, less than two inches from my head, about the size of my palm, lies the enemy of all that is holy. It has wings. Do you hear me? IT. HAS. WINGS!<br /><br />In moments of terror such as these, I do not scream. I do nothing that may potentially disturb the foe, for then it will move, and I will faint. Instead, I step cautiously backwards until I can reach my handy bug spray. "I ♥ you, bug spray." I stand as far away as I possibly can from the roach while still at spraying distance. I psychologically prepare myself, squint my eyes, and spray with all my might!<br /><br />Then it happens. It moves. It scurries around maniacally as I follow it everywhere with my poison. This is key. I mustn't lose focus now. My ultra hyper miniature pincher is uncharacteristically calm, hanging out in the kitchen and looking at me like I'm crazy (which I am). And just like that, as if by a twisted, black magic (because roaches are basically Voldemort), it's gone. It has disappeared, and who's to say where it's hiding now?<br /><br />I hold steady as my eyes bounce around the room. I am all alertness. A minute elapses, maybe two. Then I hear it. Its wings flutter. The sound makes me shiver. It's standing upside down beneath the upper frame of the sliding door, slightly weakened. The angle now forces me to spray at a closer distance. This gives me pause, but I recognize that I cannot give up now, so again I spray. This time, it dashes along the entire length of the glass door, ending up beneath the couch. Is this thing bionic? No matter. New angle; more spray. My house reeks of poison, and I don't care.<br /><br />At last, it is done. I have won the brutal battle, and I want to cry from the emotional strain. Instead, I place Doggy in the non-toxic bedroom and head off to boot camp, which doesn't sound so scary anymore.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435593074756976622.post-14286746186369825852010-03-01T19:29:00.004-05:002013-06-05T11:26:22.970-04:00Welcome to MyAmiI couldn’t believe my luck when I was studying in Paris. “I live here,” I’d exclaim under my breath while walking to and from campus over the scenic <span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2108/2391081045_b3d5809520.jpg%3Fv%3D0&imgrefurl=http://flickr.com/photos/echidna/2391081045/&usg=__WHZLMvwkReeTx8WWluN7HlVGytU=&h=375&w=500&sz=157&hl=en&start=79&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=m70kVAm2Uh7lUM:&tbnh=98&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpont%2Bde%2Bl%2527alma%26start%3D60%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Den%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1" target="_blank">Pont de l’Alma</a></span>, past the Eiffel Tower and its 20,000 flashing bulbs. Yet when I’d tell Parisians that I was from Miami, my casual remark would be met with wide-eyed enthusiasm: “The city dreams are made of! Take me with you, <span style="font-style: italic;">s’il vous plaît</span>.” They dreamed of palm fronds and sandy beaches, daiquiris and famous DJs.<br />
<br />
What warms <span style="font-style: italic;">me</span> to the city, though, has little to do with the clichés of luxury, endless partying, and tropical paradise that attract so many visitors each year. That’s the Miami the Kardashian empire turns into a reality TV show. <br />
<br />
The U.S. Census Bureau revealed in 2007 that Miami has one of the highest poverty rates and one of the lowest median incomes among large U.S. cities. Our local politicians are as corrupt as they come. Our drivers are aggressive. Our public transportation system is a joke. This is the reality.<br />
<br />
On the other hand, few cities are as culturally diverse as Miami. Winters are mild. Beaches are beautiful. Debates are heated. Evenings are lively. This, too, is the reality.<br />
<br />
It’s unclear to me whether it’s easier to define Miami by what it is or by what it isn’t; it’s an anomaly of a city. Over the years, though, I have learned to embrace its contradictions and, by extension, my own.<br />
<br />
The principle aims of this blog are:<br />
<br />
• to illustrate the people, places, and events that make Miami unique<br />
• to editorialize on Miami culture: the good, the bad, and the perplexing<br />
<br />
On the whole, the objective is to provide a local perspective on Miami, one that paints a complex picture. Of course, I can only speak from my own experience, and my Cuban-American heritage is oftentimes the lens through which I view this city. This blog will reflect that. Its name, ¿Qué Pasa, Miami?, is in fact inspired by a 1970s PBS sitcom about a Cuban-American family adjusting to life in <span style="font-style: italic;">el exilio</span> (the Cuban exile community). ¿Qué Pasa, U.S.A.? is entirely in "Spanglish," as is my hyphenated life, and the Peña family uncannily resembles my own. <span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.miamibeach411.com/news/que-pasa-usa" target="_blank">This article</a></span> about the show accurately identifies what was so special about it and why it is so relatable to me and to other Miami Cubans. <br />
<br />
I leave you with a short clip of ¿Qué Pasa, U.S.A.? in which Pepe Peña is caught off guard for a televised interview about Cuban expats in Miami. Enjoy, and welcome to ¿Qué Pasa, Miami?.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0