Thursday, August 12, 2010

My Dog the Roach Killer?

Monthly fumigation is no match for the heat, rain, and humidity of Miami summers, so my abhorred nemesis continues to rear its hideous antennae. If you read my A Pox on Palmetto Bugs post, you know how I feel about cockroaches, the foul villains. I think they all deserve to die, die, die. So when I caught my miniature pincher murdering one of the vile invaders this morning with a few swift strikes of his paw, you'd think I'd have rooted for him: "Blade, Blade, he's the best! Smack that roach and kill that pest!" That's not how it went down, though. Here's why:

- If Doggy touches roach and Miami Girl touches Doggy, Miami Girl touches roach.
- If Miami girl inadvertently "touches" roach via Doggy, she will feel infected all day, no matter how much she scrubs and washes.
- Doggy doesn't kill roach out of fear or hatred. Quite the contrary. Doggy considers this "fun."
- Doggy considers dead roach so much fun that, upon seeing Miami Girl, Doggy sweeps dead roach under doggy bed.
- In Doggy's crafty attempt to hide new "toy," Doggy lies on doggy bed (under which lies roach) and plays innocent.
- Miami Girl screams, "Blade, it's not a bone! It's a freaking roach! What is wrong with you?!"

Ugh, at least he doesn't eat them. Needless to say, Blade sleeps on a brand new doggy bed tonight and smells of lavender shampoo.

Blade working his "I didn't do nothing" look.


  1. Too funny!

    P.S. "Smack that roach and kill that pest!" = genius :)

  2. Of course he didn't eat them. Senor Blade's palate is too refined to that.

    and yes, roaches are the anti-christ or devil's spawn. yeah, i think that's more fitting.